Thursday, February 10, 2011

A Day in the Life of a Bee

Posted by A Great Liar

“Well, you just made my day.” I studied the sketch she has drawn and sighed. For all she was worth as an artist, the guy inside the canvas simply didn’t look like me.

“Something wrong?” She frowned.

“No.” I replied. “Nothing. It’s just that I could never relate much to sketches and drawings. Don’t have an eye for an art I suppose.”

Silence followed.

I continued. “By the way, something really stinks at my office these days.”

She looked towards me. “What? Is it some girl?”

“Oh no.” I replied. “I steer clear of all things feminine in the office; I mean we have enough of Piccolos playing Dudley-do-right back there, as it were. No, it ain’t that. It’s the new timing.”

“What new timing?” She asked.

“The working hours for my department.” I told her. “As from 9 to 6, it’s now being changed to 11 to 8.”

“Is it so bad?” She asked. “I mean you can stay up late and do all that crazy stuff you are into.”

“Bad?” I exclaimed. “I mean what kind of Ma’ Fa’ timing is that. And on top of it, my manager thinks it’s for the best.”

“Ok.” She replied. “But why did they change the timing?”

“It’s my bloody manager. That dude can’t think straight for sure, and same goes for everybody else in the top management. I mean, most of them are middle aged vegetarians or pot bellied, thick headed, workaholic corporate goons with little or no social life, and have housewives who have been pregnant more times than a bumble bee.”

Paused. “Well, now as I come to think of it, I don’t really blame them.”

She chuckled. “Well, you shouldn’t. You might end up being like one of them.”

“I mean if I stay there for any length of time, I probably will.” I sighed. “And I guess it’s not just the timing that is a problem. It’s like everything else is so laid back over there. The work’s too slow. There is a meeting for just about every goddamn thing that ever walks or crawls upon this earth before anything practical is done.”

“You mean it’s relaxing.” She said.

“Oh yea, it sure is.” I replied. “It’s like once we are on the verge of initiating a new project, I have to prepare a project report, and then have a meeting with the top management, and once the meeting is done, I have to write another report driven by the minutes of that meeting, and then there is another meeting for the report that was written after the last meeting, and then there will be another report driven by the minutes of the last meeting that was held to view the second last report, which in itself was driven by the minutes of the second meeting, which was also driven by the report of the initial meeting.”

She laughed. “Well Lev, I am sure it isn’t as bad as you made it sound like.”

“No, you are right, it’s not bad at all, but something else entirely. Working there is a lot like givin’ birth to a child. No matter how many times you do it, each time it takes the whole of nine months.”

“You always had a way with words.” She replied. “But for all the wrong reasons. Do you know a thing about being happy, Lev, and I really mean a thing?”

I leaned back against the chair and lit myself a cigarette, plain as always and minus the toxic reinforcements of course, and replied. “Well, Ammo. You can sit here in your cozy little home studio and draw all you want, sell your fancy little paintings, and smoke them all into joints, but you would never know how a single day is like in the life of a bee.”

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  1. I love everything you write. Seriously. Even if you spit on a page and show it to me as your work, I'd love it.

    And oh my friend and I were talking about you earlier today and we both were hoping that you're a guy. Cuz we like, love you and stuff. YOU WRITE SO DAMN WELL.

  2. "most of them are middle aged vegetarians or pot bellied, thick headed, workaholic corporate goons with little or no social life, and have housewives who have been pregnant more times than a bumble bee.”


    So work like a bee huh? :P

  3. @Aseela: Took me well over twenty minutes to figure out how to respond to your compliments. You just made me so nervous, but in a pleasant way.

    Its by far the best of the comments I have had so far, and by a mile! So thank you so very much. It was just too good.

    And yes, I am a guy. I am as guy as it gets actually, with whereabouts from khi,Pk.

    As for, "Even if you spit on a page and show it to me as your work, I'd love it." That's exactly what I am gonna do with my next post :/

    And I will just go and stare at the ceiling now, till the morning sun brings all pleasant dreams to naught!

  4. You could've just said: Bitch, I know.

    I wouldn't have thought any less of you :P

    YOU LIVE IN KARACHI?! OMFG. ME TOO. Awesome stuff.

    And you deserved the compliments, so enjoy them. (:

  5. And I am going to wait eagerly for your spit post.

  6. @AL: Do I work like a bee? Well, to be honest, not at all! But sometimes I just wish I did. Because not all the corporate work ethics that we employ in the modern day make sense, some of them are employed merely for the sake of appearance. Thanks for the comment.

  7. @Aseela Haque: Hey thanks. And you from khi, wow, that's awesome really.

    Ok, so spit post its gonna be! Well, lets just say its gonna be a metaphoric spit post!

  8. hmm...nice post as usuall.

    At the end...why you sum up the post? Why not asked the lady/artist what is the THING she was talking about being happy?

    Well...for your SPIT post....please tell me before hand so I may save myself....hmmm....

    Flattery is okay....but spit...I mean....its too much yaar...

  9. Soo random n sooo good =D

    You write real well


  10. @Thinking: Thanks a lot for reading and for your comment. The ending just came as I wrote along, and since I do not give much rewrites to or spend more than half an hour or so on my blog posts, I go along with the flow. Done in what you would call a white hot haste.

    Well, the spit post. I dont think it is something to worry about, since it shall be done with utmost discretion and is more of a metaphor than anything else.

    (Mind you that once upon a time in the ancient past, spitting on hands before shaking was considered a civilized way of solemnizing a bargain)

    @Mia Mirza: Thanks a million, Mia. Sooo nice of you to drop by.

    @Sidrah: Thank you so much, Sidra. Cheers all around!

  11. I missed her being stoned this time around...she talks sanely only when she is high...
    Great post.Loved it.

  12. Loved the narration....

    the way you keep the things going in ur write up is very rare to find... its simply superb...

    Best wishes,

  13. Your stuff makes me think man.
    You're an amazing writer, ever consider writing a book?
    And are these like real life happenings? or just your thoughts in a dialogue?

  14. love the line"and have housewives who have been pregnant more times than a bumble bee.” haha u are a gr8 writer.

  15. very nice. "middle aged vegetarians or pot bellied, thick headed, workaholic corporate goons"


  16. @Rolling Stone: Awww, so sorry Rollin'. Will keep her "high" in my future rendezvous! Thanks a lot.

    @IRFANUDDIN: Thank you so very much, sir. You are being too kind.

    @Khadeeja Z: Absolutely, there shall be more and more and more..........

    @sm: Thanks a million.

    @Maryam Malik: Thanks you so much Maryam. As a matter of fact, yes, I am currently working on my first novel. As for the real part, the fella Lev in the stories is none other yours truly. And most of the dialogues that take place have happened, but I do take a lot of poetic license here and there.

    @Asma: Thank you, and welcome aboard.

    @Talha: Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it.

  17. Yet again, another random post well expressed :)

  18. very nice :) I like your writing style :)

  19. @Miss Hanif: Glad you enjoyed it. And thanks for being a follower.

  20. ur Ammo is kinda nice with you but ur manager isnt:)