Wednesday, February 16, 2011

In Belphegor, We Trust

Posted by A Great Liar

Belphegor
There she was, barging in the room without a warning just as her moral senses permitted her to, her morbid visage, in one fell swoop, is revealed before my eyes, containing not an element of surprise. The smoke queen I am often privileged to witness post midnight hours, who couldn’t tell the difference between a Turkish hunk and a Mexican grizzly, not that there is much to speak of.

She was in just as I was lighting the candles, the last of the rituals before the ceremony could be started. It was my first dabble with the initiations of the dark sides, and I feared she was there just in the nick of time to ruin it.

She saw me dressed in a black robe, the dark candles on the altar in front, and an elaborate looking Pentagram drawn on the floor right in the middle of the room.

She asked. "Lev, what the hell you think you are doing?”

I replied. “Well… you know ... I am tryin’ to call somebody up”.

I turned around to look at her and saw her standing against the doorway, swaying a little. Blinking, and not just from the eyes!

As if now she is there ... and now she is not, back and forth in a drunken motion.

"Calling who up?" She replied. "And why are you dressed so weird. And what’s with the cand…” She noticed the floor. “Goddamitt, you just ruined my fuckin’ floor!!! YOU OUT OF YOUR FRIGGIN’ MIND, LEV!!!”

Our floor. I thought. Our floor!

“Will you bloody calm down now, Ammo, and listen to me.” I raised my voice.

She looked hot; the simmering red against the taut white skin and bloodless veins looked out of place on her.

She replied. “I am calm. Just tell me?”

“I am calling the Dude up.” I replied, offering a mystery smile. “You know, the fellow with the universal access number of 666.”

It had a magic effect on her, because she began to look relieved, and a touch bemused. “You are calling up the Devil, … is that what you are saying”.

“Yes.” My smile broadened. “But it is not just some devil I am trying to call up, but someone specific.” Paused. “It's Belphegor.”

“Bel… what?” She asked.

I reached for the black hardbound book on the table and handed to her.

She gave it a curious look and read aloud. “A Beginner's Guide to Demons and Other Subversive Spirits: An Edition for the Damned. Are you nuts, Lev?”

“As a matter of fact, NO, I am not.” I replied. “Check out Belphegor on page 147.”

She did, and the expression on her face distorted further. “What is it, … well, there is a guy sitting on a toilet bowl. Is he … like some kind of a shit demon?”

“Not he aint.” I protested. “Don’t be such a materialistic ass, Ammo. Read about him.”

She did. “Belphegor (or Beelphegor) is a demon who helps people to make discoveries. He seduces people by suggesting to them ingenious inventions that will make them rich.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. “Impressive portfolio don’t you think. Dude means business. He is serious stuff, not one of those silly garden gnomes, is he?”

“Lev.” She said. “You are apparently crazier than I thought. This stuff, if it works at all, is probably very dangerous.”

“May be.” I agreed. “But it’s well worth the risk.”

“Ok. Crazy as this whole business is.” She replied. “What exactly are you looking to achieve from this. It’s a dumb question, but I need to ask.”

“An invention! What else?” I replied. “The likes of which the world has never seen. I don’t care what it is. A book, a brilliant specimen of art, or anything else. I honestly don’t care.” Paused. “But I am hoping for a book. May be the next ‘Ulysses’ or ‘Atlas Shrugged’. Hmmm, to come to think of it, wouldn’t it be rather nice.”

“But you are already a writer, Lev.” She asked. “Can’t you try and achieve all that on your own.”

“Wish it was that simple, hon.” I sighed. “But it’s not. Inspiration is the problem. Inspiration you see. One finds it either in love or in damnation. Either in the love of a woman, one with arms … and legs long enough to embrace you within her, to sink in and stay there, is where one finds inspiration.” I pointed towards the book in her hand. “Or one finds it in this.”

She laughed and said nothing. I could tell she was blushing.

I sighed. “Admittedly, Belphegor is a sorry substitute for the love of a woman … but it’s there. And since I am too crazy for the ones with ponies on their heads, why not stick to the ones with ponies up their ass.”

My last remark didn’t go down too well with her, because she simply shook her head, threw the book on the table, and left the room, banging the door behind her.

I shrugged and picked the book up, eyeing the Belphegor image, silently admitting that the fella in the picture didn’t know much about public image. In spite of our disagreements, I could give her that much. 

[Do leave a comment, it matters..., And if enjoyed what you just read, do follow the blog, it matters just as much]

42 comments:

  1. Woah.
    That was a fun read.
    WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?

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  2. hehehe...enjoyed the read....

    its always good to read ur write ups....

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  3. Belphegor? Okay wow. This is realy interesting.. ALthough i thought something really spooky would happen in the end.

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  4. @Asad: Thanks man, glad you enjoyed it. My posts arent really serialized, but random. But will try to "demonize" my future posts, if possible.

    @IRFANUDDIN: Thank you so very much. Please do stay in touch for more.

    @AL: Thanks AL. Well I try not to get too over the top, not much of a climax can be achieved within 8 to 900 words. Wish I had the liberty to write longer posts.

    @Philophobic: Yes, every bit of it. With my own bare hands. I hope it is any good. Or is it?

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  5. DUUUUUUDE. this is super creepy. especially about the whole toilet thing. :O

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  6. Wow. Its very cool. Loved your writing. :)

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  7. Cool shit!
    although i am secretly hoping that you did call upon this belphegor dude, he seems quite interesting.

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  8. hmmm...."like some kind of a shit demon?"

    Intresting...

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  9. @Furree Katt: Yes,I know. The whole post was an attempt at humor, and it turned out rather creepy I am afraid.

    @Talha: Thank you so much Talha. :)

    @Maryam Malik: Thanks, Maryam. Well, I am often tempted to. He is an inspiration of sorts, I must admit, especially if one is a writer.

    @Thinking: Thanks a lot,Thinking. :)

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  10. LOL
    Enjoyed the read :)
    Plus the header is Cool :D

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  11. AM I THE FIRST ONE TO SEE YOUR PICTURE? :D yay, now we know what you look like!

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  12. @Ph_: Thanks a million, Ph :)

    @Furree Katt: Well, you are the first one to have mentioned it. So thank you :)
    Yea, now everybody knows how the big bad wolfie looks like, hehe :)
    The down side of it is that I probably wont be able to getaway with everything I write on the blog. Some of it might actually come back to haunt me, in more ways than one ;)
    Pls dont mention how terrible I look, I know :(

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  13. Nice Post dude!! its changed but the way you present is good.

    @Furree I believe he is not simple i must say he is still lying...

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  14. A devil is better than an irritable woman. Is that the moral of the story?

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  15. Inspiration is the problem. Inspiration you see. One finds it either in love or in damnation.

    True.
    Great write up!

    Ever tried LSD? :)
    Know Isaac of Heroes?

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  16. great work buddy...
    devil, woman, love, damnation, it all made it quite wholesome...
    anyways wish u luck for your invention,hope you come up with it soon...

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  17. Wow, this was really interesting! I'm impressed (:

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  18. @Mooses Hemani: Thanks man. Yea, I know, this one turned out rather differently from the previous posts.

    @Gorilla Bananas: Well, yea, I guess that is one way of putting it.

    @Emmy: Thanks a lot Emmy :)

    @SaJ: Thanks pal. And no, never had the fortune to try LSD. Regrets? Oh yes, lots of them.

    @Rolling Stone: Thanks pal. Trying really hard these days. Givin' that lantern a real rub!

    @Fatima Nadeem: Hi Fatima, welcome aboard. Glad you enjoyed it. And thank you for being a follower.

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  19. Creepy post. But i kinda enjoyed it :D
    First time on your blog, liar. Following you now :)

    Regards.

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  20. I like the top right corner, coffee mug and stains and all. :)

    The glasses kind of throws it off, though. And I wish the text was placed differently.

    But then again, this is yet another unsolicited opinion from an anonymous person in the Interwebz. :]

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  21. NO updates... why mann???
    everything ok????

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  22. @ furee kat: nopes. i saw his picture months back.:p
    @lev: i saw your picture again today and recognized you! i love the way you write. its just totally amazing.

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  23. This so awesome and captivating..
    and why aren't u writing more ..?
    It's almost been a month since u last posted,,,>:P


    http://hamza-the-philosophaster.blogspot.com/

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  24. @Nostalgic: Welcome aboard, Nos. And thanks for being a follower. :)

    @Philophobic: I kinda share the same opinion when it comes to the left half of the banner, it does need a bit of fixing, hopefully will find the time in the coming to fix it all up. Thanks a lot.

    @Maryam Malik: Oh I am awfully sorry about the lack of updates in between, just stuck with few things here and there. But am back now, and thank you so much. :)

    @IRFANUDDIN: My apologies, sir. Had to fix up few things here and there. Could hardly time for anything. But back now, and thank you so much.

    KWP: Lol, KWP, you got me there. Absolutely delighted to hear that you still remember. By the way, are in touch with 6s or Thinking10 these days? Ever since I have started working on my novel, I can hardly find the time to do so.
    And thank you for your kind words regarding my posts.


    Hamza Bin Ladin: Hey hamza, just got busy with few things. But am back now, thanks for following the blog.

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  25. well if u tried ur hands at writing a humorous post let me tell u, u can never do that. it will always turn out to be satirical with ur signature cynicism concealed here and there. U RRR INTO EERIE STUFF :)

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  26. @mahlaqa: Actually, a good friend of mine once told me the exact same thing. He told me to stick with what I know, that is strictly speaking, 'stick with the dark side' was how he put it.
    I think I need to stop trying now...

    Yes, I am into eerie stuff, I have a child's infatuation with all things that most people arent comfortable enough to either talk about or acknowledge.

    Am I freaking you out yet? I am awfully sorry if that is the case, Mahlaqa. I genuinely like you and wouldnt want that to happen.

    :)

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  27. The characters feel so real, like TOTALLY real!

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  28. oooh wow @Mahlaqa. I genuinely like you// js when i thought u didnt :) well i like u too and u have triggered my native imagery back into me. and guess what i even started writing like u do last night for it all started coming back to me. but then i stopped in the middle.
    Lev i have worked hard to channelize my imagination into something beautiful n not scary, brazen, idealistic may be but not ugly. i still am very well connected to the side darker, i admit but my aesthetic self is very uncomfortable with that. yes i am a dreamer but an idealist one like u gauged. but i have found my God tree u know, which i will not take home with me.. i wont be sooo weak, so helpless, not any more. i will make ppl see it no matter if they think i m crazy i wont be a happy conceited goon, a buffoon of this clay world. never.
    *i m sorry if i said a lot it is that i m bitterly crying and angry* u never freak me out. u just bring me back something of my subconscious.. my demons, my angels, fairy god mothers, and knight..

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  29. @habloid: Thanks a lot hab. Glad you liked it. :)

    @mahlaqa: Well, I do. Though for some odd reason, it wasnt quite so easy to write down, I wrote, deleted and then rewrote again.

    Dunno why, but it wasnt easy. I always thought that letting someone know that u liked that person always felt like submission.

    Or may be it is just me, crazy in the head. Forget it.

    I feel like deleting everything I have written just now, but well, wont do.

    "bitterly crying and angry"??? Come now, why would u do that???

    If u would take my advice, may be u can try not to channelize ur inner thoughts too much, u might even end up tampering with them.

    I always felt there is something infinitely beautiful with all things dark, why be scared of them.

    Your 'God Tree'? Have you? It must be beautiful to behold, all God Trees are.

    "i even started writing like u do last night". Well I love to read.

    Btw, we have by now started to sound like couple of wackos on the edge of absolute madness, and I think we are better off discussing it on IM/email, if it is all right with you.

    So here I am, asking, can you plz have a roam for one more, if it is all right? It would be my pleasure :)

    my ids are:

    agreatliar@gmail.com
    agreatliar@hotmail.com

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  30. liking someone is never submission loving is :)i am braver u then to have said it in so many words prior to ur proclamation :)

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  31. @mahlaqa: Well, call me a little uptight when it comes to saying something nice to ppl.

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  32. then i am a lot nicer than u ;) but then again what i found was a nice person so i dont agree with the statement above :)

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  33. @mahlaqa: Surely you are, and by a mile.
    And regarding ur second statement, I dunno abt that.

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  34. It was such a pleasure reading it. I have bookmarked it and I will show it to my friend, she is ahuge fan of this subject.


    Education Consultants Pakistan

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  35. Thank you for another essential article. Where else could anyone get that kind of information in such a complete way of writing? I have a presentation incoming week, and I am on the lookout for such information.

    Boundless

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  36. Some people are so blind, this book is his invention and he's telling you how he became relevant....smh

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