Thursday, February 3, 2011

Just Fuggedaboutit

Posted by A Great Liar

Here is the thing; liberals, democrats, moderates, conservatives, aren’t they all the same? Doing the same old act, promoting an agenda, be it that of rightist or the leftist. One unable to bear the stench of another or vice versa.

Because here I am walking inside a slushy bookstore on phase V, and Voila! all heads roll as the Devil trots in.

I saw a middle aged mother wrapping her (queen-sized) arms around her little tyke, who seemed wide eyed and hopelessly scared, against her breast, and whispering. Here cometh the dark man, sonny, you better behave to your mama now.

And the rest of them turning around, looking in unison, their eyes probing anxiously. And I especially noted that narrow hipped, bandana wearing, clad in tight tops chic now able to look right through his boyfriend as her eyes never strayed off me. As if I would explode any second.

And for a moment, I wish I had. If you catch the drift.

Because here is the thing; I have a beard, a really small one.

Hey guys, take it easy. I aint wearing that bloody jacket you know. Yea, that one with a little red wire strung inside. No thank you, not me.

Or is it the Governor? Come on, you gotta be kiddin me. I didn’t shoot him!!!

Here’s what I am here to do; buy couple of Stephen King’s and a latest one from Kazuo Ishiguro, if I am lucky. And then walk off this place, and get a bottle of bourbon from across the street, distilled of course, and have Sam’s happy time.

Within the next fifteen minutes, I was walking out of the bookstore, and it was a relief, which kinda worked both ways, I am sure. 

Once across the street, the guy at the counter gives me a queasy look, wordless in his admonishments of my incorrect political innuendos.

My hand reached for my beard, feeling it and wondering. But hey, isn’t it a touch too small to matter.

But whether it mattered to God or not, it did matter to him. Because he continued to look petrified. Both work in strange ways I suppose.

But never mind, because with luck, I will outlive the stare. Grab the stuff, pay up, and Auf Wiedersehen, pal.

But hey, I wondered. What exactly is wrong with these people? I mean, when was the last time I actually thought about who shall dangle by the proverbial noose come the sunrise tomorrow, or about moderates, liberals, conservatives, apparently trying to drink from the same stinking pond, which given their moral shortcomings, will never happen. Or when was the last time I actually worried about being blown to kingdom come by a divine wacko?

Probably never.

Or how about the all time favorite; the blasphemy laws, which has attracted more curiosity than the constellation of Taurus apparently. 

I mean all that jazz for one lifetime!

And at last, quoting the good old Mafiso wiseguy, I say to myself; Just Fuggedaboutit.

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  1. hmm....I can tell...

    Nice post...have no other words...

    Keep writing !

  2. ur narration is simply superb.... liked it :)

    i Just can't Fuggedaboutit.......

    Best Wishes,

  3. Phase V? DHA?
    "Or when was the last time I actually worried about being blown to kingdom come by a divine wacko?"
    awesome line indeed. you're a great writer.

  4. Very true. My beard is also very small and I too sometime get this type of looks and even when looks were not enough sometime people call me "MOLVI" Not an offence as I rate Molvi a very respectable title given to Ulema who have spent their lives learning Islam and on the other hand for masses anyone with beard ( may it be small enough to be called unshaven face or really big beard) comes in the defination of a Molvi. Really unfortunate!

    Good post though I liked it very much and may be I'll also settle with the notion

    "Just Fuggedaboutit"

  5. @Thinking: Thanks a lot.

    @IRFANUDDIN:Thank you so much.Neither can I, and besides, when a mafia wiseguy says something like that, last thing he intends to do is actually to forget about it.

    @Furree Katt: Yes, Phase V, DHA, and the bookstore happens to be in the basement. Guess that tells just abt everything as far as the id of the store is concerned.

    And hey, thanks for the praise. You are being too kind.

    @Talha: Yeah, even though I do not have a full fledged Islamic beard, it still does the trick ;)

  6. Furree Katt: Wow, didn't see that coming!

    I come to that coffee shop/bookstore quiet often, cool place. Though had a shocker when I first went there. The dude at the counter had never heard of Stephen King!

    Havent tried their coffee yet, wonder if it is any good.

  7. I am not bothered to fudge about it, though I am interested in having a fudge icecream right now =D

  8. @Sana Castellano: Hi there. Thanks for joining, and yes, two thumbs up for all things fudgey!

    @Ph_: Hi, welcome aboard, and thanks for joining.

  9. I wan to live in phase V lol.

    Even i hate how people can be so judgemental. sighh

  10. @AL: Welcome aboard, and thanks for the comment.

  11. @lataranganath: Thanks Lata. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

  12. i agree with all of it except the B...

  13. @mahlaqa: Well, didnt get it, can u elaborate?